The Portrayal of Peter

In the most recent section of Mrs. Dalloway that we read, Virginia Woolf allows us to follow the consciousness of Peter Walsh from when he exits Clarissa's home. After being aligned with Clarissa's thoughts about Peter prior to this section, I was eager to see the world from his point of view and observe his feelings toward her. 

Throughout this section, Peter is portrayed as a man of great immaturity who chooses to indulge in alternate realities and fantasies rather than accept his current situation in real life. Because of the struggles that he has with his own feelings, he seems to be someone who is almost always insecure and overly self-conscious. Thirty years after Clarissa rejected his proposal to marry him, he still loves her and seeks her approval. He becomes so obsessive in this aspect to the point where he tries to convince himself of things that aren't true in an effort to feel better about himself and his decisions. An instance of this occurs in the first moments of Peter's narration after he leaves Clarissa's house. He begins to analyze the way Clarissa had acknowledged Elizabeth's presence in the room during their sentimental moment. "It was the way she said 'Here is my Elizabeth!' that annoyed him. Why not 'Here's Elizabeth' simply? It was insincere. And Elizabeth didn't like it either" Woolf narrates. He is trying to reassure himself that Clarissa is not a good mother to Elizabeth, who is a symbol of her marriage to Richard (and of his failure with her). This creates a blind optimism, allowing Peter to consider the possibility that Clarissa is not as successful as she seems.

Peter uses fantasies to distract himself from his overshadowing fear of old age along with not accomplishing anything in life. One of these fantasies that we get to observe occurs when Peter is wandering through Trafalgar Square, where he watches a young woman walk home, imagining her as his ideal partner. His mind goes into great detail about who she "is", how he would greet her, and how he would interact with her. But the strangest thing I noticed about this episode was his immediate comparison of this mysterious woman to Clarissa. In his initial descriptions about this woman, he says "There was a dignity about her. She was worldly, like Clarissa; not rich, like Clarissa." He immediately compares her to Clarissa, showing that he is still trying to move on from his past failures and how eager he is to create a romantic meaning in his life. 

However, as the woman arrives at her home and goes inside, Peter's fantasy comes to an abrupt end. He showed no sign of anger or discontent when this happened, which proved to me that he is not completely delusional. He is able to recognize these moments as fantastical moments and doesn't form any attachment to the woman. Nonetheless, this experience is another example of blind optimism. He yearns for his life to have meaning and for someone to love him back for the "romantic buccaneer" that he is.