The Portrayal of Peter

In the most recent section of Mrs. Dalloway that we read, Virginia Woolf allows us to follow the consciousness of Peter Walsh from when he exits Clarissa's home. After being aligned with Clarissa's thoughts about Peter prior to this section, I was eager to see the world from his point of view and observe his feelings toward her. 

Throughout this section, Peter is portrayed as a man of great immaturity who chooses to indulge in alternate realities and fantasies rather than accept his current situation in real life. Because of the struggles that he has with his own feelings, he seems to be someone who is almost always insecure and overly self-conscious. Thirty years after Clarissa rejected his proposal to marry him, he still loves her and seeks her approval. He becomes so obsessive in this aspect to the point where he tries to convince himself of things that aren't true in an effort to feel better about himself and his decisions. An instance of this occurs in the first moments of Peter's narration after he leaves Clarissa's house. He begins to analyze the way Clarissa had acknowledged Elizabeth's presence in the room during their sentimental moment. "It was the way she said 'Here is my Elizabeth!' that annoyed him. Why not 'Here's Elizabeth' simply? It was insincere. And Elizabeth didn't like it either" Woolf narrates. He is trying to reassure himself that Clarissa is not a good mother to Elizabeth, who is a symbol of her marriage to Richard (and of his failure with her). This creates a blind optimism, allowing Peter to consider the possibility that Clarissa is not as successful as she seems.

Peter uses fantasies to distract himself from his overshadowing fear of old age along with not accomplishing anything in life. One of these fantasies that we get to observe occurs when Peter is wandering through Trafalgar Square, where he watches a young woman walk home, imagining her as his ideal partner. His mind goes into great detail about who she "is", how he would greet her, and how he would interact with her. But the strangest thing I noticed about this episode was his immediate comparison of this mysterious woman to Clarissa. In his initial descriptions about this woman, he says "There was a dignity about her. She was worldly, like Clarissa; not rich, like Clarissa." He immediately compares her to Clarissa, showing that he is still trying to move on from his past failures and how eager he is to create a romantic meaning in his life. 

However, as the woman arrives at her home and goes inside, Peter's fantasy comes to an abrupt end. He showed no sign of anger or discontent when this happened, which proved to me that he is not completely delusional. He is able to recognize these moments as fantastical moments and doesn't form any attachment to the woman. Nonetheless, this experience is another example of blind optimism. He yearns for his life to have meaning and for someone to love him back for the "romantic buccaneer" that he is. 

L.

In The Mezzanine, Howie can be easily considered as the only character. His deepest thoughts about the most intricate details of his life dominate the novel, immersing the reader with their complexity and ingenuity. One of the strangest things I noticed throughout the first few chapters of the novel was the fact that Howie, through his countless observations and rants about seemingly random things, only mentions other "characters" in the midst of the labyrinth that is his thoughts. One mentioned person is his girlfriend, L. This relationship, which seems like it should be a big part of Howie's life, lacks the detail and enthusiasm that we see with other facets of his life. 

When L. is first discussed in the novel, I was thrown off guard, as it was the first mention of anyone else in Howie's life with some sort of substance or detail. After reading three full chapters about Howie's views on shoelaces, staplers, and sneakers, it was strange to see Howie bring up another person. However, it was the way that Howie talked about L. at the beginning of chapter three that perplexed me. He doesn't introduce us to L. in any way, only bringing her up as a backstory for the discovery of brushing his tongue, one of his eight major advances in life. Later in this same paragraph, Howie says "soon after I began going out with L., she, shrugging as if it were a matter of common knowledge, told me that she brushed her tongue every day, with her toothbrush." If it weren't for this sentence, I would have had absolutely no idea that L. was Howie's girlfriend. In this paragraph, he discusses her in the same style as he does with his co-workers. There seem to only be emotions attached to the discovery of brushing his tongue, and none towards L. in the slightest. As I read further, I realized that this was the case every time L. was randomly brought up. Howie expresses pure joy and enthusiasm to us when it comes to the intricacy of escalators or the perforations of paper towels, but this seems to be absent in regard to L., his own girlfriend. 

Another part of the novel where we are given information about L. that stood out to me was when Howie presented us with his lengthy list of thoughts and their annual frequency in chapter 14. By this point in the novel, I was under the assumption that Howie didn't really care about L., or that their relationship was not as stable as it used to be. But seeing L. at the top of this list (580 times per year, triple the amount of the number 3 spot) surprised me, and led me to think about her in a completely different way. For the entirety of the novel, Howie had talked about L. without any real passion, yet she is the frontrunner of this list. I wonder if he has had all of these thoughts in the past and just doesn't find them exciting anymore, or if he simply takes her for granted. Let me know what you guys think.